91. "...........and Lord, please deliver me from the dreaded 4-way-Stop-Wave-a-Thon........."
(Just to review, when 2-3 vehicles approach a 4-way stop at the same time, the vehicle on the RIGHT has the right-of-way. IF that driver tries to wave any other driver through, then any driver there then has the right to loudly call the waving driver an idiot in front of the idiots kids. At least this is what I'm learning as I go, as apparently, no one seems to mind that my kids are in the car, thank you.)
92. Trucks and their signs reminding me that if I can not see their mirrors then they can not see me. Look, Billy Ray or Papa Bear or whatever the hell your CB handle is, nobody knows better than me how hard it is to steer with your knees while checking out the centerfold in the latest issue of JUGGS magazine, but here's an idea for ya.....GET BIGGER MIRRORS!!!!
93. Facial Hair. I hate facial hair for many reasons, the first being that I can't grow it. Despite that fact, I especially dislike men with the big beards with no mustache. The last person in public office you saw with one of these was our former Reagan-Era U.S. Surgeon General, the Menonite-impersonating Dr. C. Everett Koop. Don't get me wrong, I think it's a good look. But only if you and Jebediah are on your way into town before dawn, taking the buggy.
94. Ladies, as far as your facial hair goes, please, bleach it, wax it, pluck it, anything to make it go away, but please don't try to pretend that's it's not there and that those aren't this mornings toast crumbs stuck in it.
95. People that somehow manage to slip the make of their car into a conversation. As in, "So I took the Benz down to the lake this week..." or any variation thereof. You pretentious piece of crap, I pity you that you feel so insignificant and feel such a need to impress me that you would attach your worth to a car for validation. I'd like to think that there is a special little spot in Hell for people like you, and I'm sure it has Italian leather upholstery, remote keyless entry, and a moon roof.
(Just to review, when 2-3 vehicles approach a 4-way stop at the same time, the vehicle on the RIGHT has the right-of-way. IF that driver tries to wave any other driver through, then any driver there then has the right to loudly call the waving driver an idiot in front of the idiots kids. At least this is what I'm learning as I go, as apparently, no one seems to mind that my kids are in the car, thank you.)
92. Trucks and their signs reminding me that if I can not see their mirrors then they can not see me. Look, Billy Ray or Papa Bear or whatever the hell your CB handle is, nobody knows better than me how hard it is to steer with your knees while checking out the centerfold in the latest issue of JUGGS magazine, but here's an idea for ya.....GET BIGGER MIRRORS!!!!
93. Facial Hair. I hate facial hair for many reasons, the first being that I can't grow it. Despite that fact, I especially dislike men with the big beards with no mustache. The last person in public office you saw with one of these was our former Reagan-Era U.S. Surgeon General, the Menonite-impersonating Dr. C. Everett Koop. Don't get me wrong, I think it's a good look. But only if you and Jebediah are on your way into town before dawn, taking the buggy.
94. Ladies, as far as your facial hair goes, please, bleach it, wax it, pluck it, anything to make it go away, but please don't try to pretend that's it's not there and that those aren't this mornings toast crumbs stuck in it.
95. People that somehow manage to slip the make of their car into a conversation. As in, "So I took the Benz down to the lake this week..." or any variation thereof. You pretentious piece of crap, I pity you that you feel so insignificant and feel such a need to impress me that you would attach your worth to a car for validation. I'd like to think that there is a special little spot in Hell for people like you, and I'm sure it has Italian leather upholstery, remote keyless entry, and a moon roof.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home