*The following text does NOT make me gay. I repeat, the following text does NOT make me gay.

Ok, so I just got done with the paper work on "Dave" and his partner "Sam." This was the first time I have actually met "Sam." I have to admit, he is a good looking guy. I'm sorry, fellas, but I am secure enough in my heterosexuality and manhood to be able to appreciate when another guy is good looking. I'm no pole-smoking butt-pirate, but that guy is good looking.

As for the house, my appraiser was 100% correct. Absolutely steeped in gayness. Saturated with gayness. Overflowing with gayness. Palpable physical gayness. Ubiquitous gayness. Breathtakingly gay. Sphincter-twitchingly gay. Mind numbing gayness. Oppressively gay. Not so much Paul Lynde gay or Rock Hudson gay. (Si! Senor Hudson este mui mucho gay!) Full bore Liberace gay. I'm talking it was Christopher Lowell gay. Fabulously gay. If it were any more gay, it would need a third floor. I felt as if a window should have been opened to let some of the gay out. A Feng Shui Master would have to spend weeks analyzing how to arrange the proper balance of gayness. Painfully gay. Richard Simmons would shreik, "This is WAY TOO GAY!" I think I got some gay on me. I was affraid I was going to sit in some gay or step on some gay. I felt as if I was involuntarily growing a John Waters pencil-thin mustache the longer I sat. Truly, it was a black-hole of gayness. Gayness so concentrated that it could bend both light and time: I walked out 3 years younger than when I walked in. It was as if some sort of "Gay-tron" nuclear weapon armed with 50 kilo-tons of Gaytonium or Fagranium had been detonated, leaving the landscape devoid of anything remotely hetero. I was too scared to fart, for fear that if it were too high-pitched it would trigger some sort of Anal-Virgin Detector, or too low-pitched it would have been a mating call and sent them into a frenzy. As I was leaving, I had the urge to wipe my feet off before I left so as to not track any of the gay out. As I drove home, I actually felt as if I still had some gay on me.

Other than that, I like what they've done to the place.

"Ms./information?"

"Women's History Month" is coming up. I guess. I don't really know that for sure, I'm just guessing. Hell, it could be 11 months away and I'm still right to a certain degree.
"Women's Histroy Month." Hmmm. Let me give that some thought.......and.......done.
What a complete crock of shit that idea is. "Women's History Month?" This is a joke, right? It has to be a joke. Right?
Better do some research.

(That was my thought process as I ventured into tonights topic.)

After wading through page after page of man-hating crap, I finally found some gals with their collective heads screwed on right.
I loved this analysis of so-called "Women's Studies."
Of course, when I found this little myth de-bunker, I almost peed myself.
Having to suffer through months of inane liberal crying over the 2000 election and how Gore really won, Dubya stole the election with the help of the Supreme Court and mysteriously powerful friends in media, I was elated to read about George W. Bush's popularity on college campuses.
Off the political tangent, I steer back on the "Women's Studies" road to stupidit...eee....ahhhhh...I..I mean, enlightenment and empowerment. BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Damn, I am digging these chicks. This confirms something I was thinking about the other night as I was falling asleep. I wondered how low rape numbers would be if rapists actually had a fear that a woman was armed. Um, that would be 25%. As far as I'm concerned, Rosie wants more rape victims.

So. "Women's History Month?" Big fan. Yep. Big fan.

About a week ago, I was at work late and I found a lighter by one of the copiers. It was a white Cricket lighter with a 7-11 logo on it. I knew that chances were very good that it belonged to the office semi-hottie, Michelle. I pocket it. Next day, some of the girls stop by my office on their way out for a smoke and ask if I want to come out with them. Wanting to take a little break and look at their butts, I decide to go along. I bum a smoke off Michelle and light both of ours with the found lighter. She says she lost it. I playfully say, "Yeah, you did, that's a shame," and pocket it again. She asks if she can have it back. I say that according to a 1973 Supreme Court case, "Feindahrs versus Keepehrs," I technically don't have to. I tell her that in a 5-4 decision, the court ruled in favor of Mr. Feindahrs. The Court took all of July in 1973 hearing and arguing it, finally, Justice Rehnquist wrote the majority opinion giving Feindahrs the victory. It was challenged in 1982, in "Loessers v. Weepers," but the Supreme Court still upheld "Feindahrs."
We all have a good laugh. I kept the lighter.

A few days go by.

Today she "serves" me with a "Joint Custody Agreement" in regards to the lighter, stating that custody shall be shared, her in the morning, me in the afternoon, alternate weekends and holidays. I refused to sign and told her I had to do some research.

Anyone familiar with any cases I could site as precedence?

All I've found so far is a rarely mentioned case very similar to mine from 1984, "Stephoff v. Beeyatch." Justice O'Connor wrote a 3 page opinion in favor of the plaintiff, Stephoff, while Justices Kennedy, Scalia, and White each wrote a separate dissent, claiming that the defendant, Beeyatch, had inferior counsel.
Any others you can think of might be helpful.

* The names have been changed to protect privacy.

Well, I'm about to make a call to schedule a house-call this weekend. Two actually. One is to close a refinance for a guy whose loans I've done 3 times before. This time, however, he has decided to put his "partner" on the note with him. This wasn't a shock, I had known of his life-style choice since the first deal we had. Super, super nice guy. Good hand shake, looks you dead in the eye, means what he says, says what he means, snappy dresser. I like him. (No, not like that.) Anyhow, I have to confess that I am a bit nervous to go to the house. My appraiser said that when he was there, he couldn't help but notice what he called "the plethora of overt gayness." Gay art, gay statuary, a 5-foot marble erection statue, you know, typical overt gayness. I'm thinking it may be a bad idea to walk in there humming "YMCA" or Lou Reed's "Take a walk on the wild side...." as I enter the inner sanctum of the other side.

Eh, I'll be ok, I like "Dave." He has given me a lot of business from that community over the last couple of years. A very loyal crowd, them homersexuals. A bit of history, "Dave" and his partner "Sam", were both living the het life, married, kids, the works. They met, became friends, one thing led to another. Now, the wives are gone and the boys are together. Going on 9 years. Good for them. I could never be gay, though. I dig chicks way, way, way, too much. Mmmmmmm.......boobies.

Woo-hoo! (Chanting....) I'M NUMBER 3! I'M NUMBER 3! I'M NUMBER 3!

It's been a while since I beat on this drum, so why not make a little noise?

Matthew Shepard. A household name. Probably half of all adults have heard his name at least once or could tell you his story. Made national headlines. A Made-for-TV movie. Tragic victim. Poster-boy for "Hate Crime" legislation. His death saddens and disgusts me. Needless and tragic.

Jesse Dirkhising. Thirteen years old. Chances are very, very good that less than 2 people in 10,000 have ever heard of this kid's tragic death. (Attention gay-activists: I'm not going where you think I'm going, work with me here.)

Conservatives, myself included, have tried to make Jesse's death and subsequent lack of main-stream media coverage an example of our perception of a liberal bias in news reporting and coverage. Personally, I think a quick examination of facts regarding the coverage will prove that correct, but that's not my point today. Then what is?

I'm a little appalled and disgusted at what I read in the oxymoronishly named main-stream gay media. Specifically a 3-part editorial debate in the Independent Gay Forum regarding Jesse's death, the coverage, their interpretation of traditional conservative views, and most importantly, the flippancy of the actual death that columnist Paul Varnell almost dismisses and all but defends. He uses words like "apparently" and phrases like "There is no evidence that the two men intended to kill the youth: They called an ambulance when they found he had stopped breathing." Imagine for a moment the outcry if someone, conservative of course, implied that same sentiment regarding the killers of Matthew Shephard. Imagine: "There was no evidence Shepard's killers intended to kill him: They called an ambulance when they found he had stopped breathing." Varnell almost suggests that Jesse's killers were doing him a favor by calling him an ambulance. Well, after one of them stopped sticking things in Jesse's feces smeared buttocks long enough to make a sandwich, they noticed that he wasn't breathing. Imagine being 13 years old and being duct taped to a mattress in the living room by 2 men you trusted, ass up, face down, (isn't that an Ani DiFranco song?!) with a pair of your own dirty underwear shoved and duct taped in your mouth. Breathing would be difficult while your rectum bleeds as it is being stuffed with everything from fruit and phones to penises. Don't expect an HBO special of this.

Does this change or confirm any opinions I have about homosexual men? No, not at all. I have no real problem with homosexual men or women, as long as they are adults and don't try to preach their agenda to my kids. In the same respect, I try hard not to preach my agenda to their kids. I can love the sinner and hate the sin. I don't think the actions of a few miscreants should cast a cloud of mistrust on the rest of the group. In the same way, the actions of a few (statistically) pedophilliac priests should not be used to condemn all the other wonderful priests around the country. But, that's the topic of another show.

I am happy, though, to see that the gay community is actually not just concentrating on bashing the conservative view of Jesse's death, but actually considering some of the bigger implications. It's almost as though they agree with what we've been saying about the coverage and have taken it up a notch to consider some other issues in their community. Interesting.

I swear, if I had it to do all over again, I would major in linguisitics. I'm so happy to see that I am not alone in my peeves and fetishes.

It's been said by a feminist accquaintence that "men fear losing power." Curious position to argue. It's made especially more curious by the fact that it was a woman that said it. My initial question is, by being a woman, how do you know what men fear and don't fear? It's exactly the same as me stating that feminists fear strong men who aren't going to cower and act like the pussies they want us to be because they have an agenda they want to shove down our throats. I would never attempt to argue a pro-men position by stating anything regarding the feelings of women or feminists in general. On what grounds do I support my argument? On what experience? Game over. Argument lost.

But, let's assume, just for the sake of entertaining the fairer sex and their militant war cry, that the argument wasn't lost right then and there? My next questions would address the power. What power is it you feel we are in fear of losing? Do men have some court mandated power that I wasn't aware of? Is there something unwritten, some social code that I may have missed? We have women Senators, women Supreme Court Judges, women police officers, women Prime Ministers, women members of the Cabinet, women doctors, women lawyers, women convicts, etc. Women share every bit of power there is to be shared in our civilized society. While I can't think of one instance where men have more power over women, I can think of one where women have more power than women. Women have the power to legally kill. I'll let that one go for today.

To argue that "men fear losing power" is to admit that you have nothing left to argue. It is to admit that at this point you are arguing just to hear yourself argue. More importantly, it is just plain divisive. It fails to address any real problems. It merely points a finger in the darkness and tries to place blame where none is deserved. Sure, it makes for good rhetoric at feminist rallies, but, then again, Hitler said some pretty divisive things at a few of his rallies and got some people all fired up for his cause, too.

Ultimately, the feminist cry of "men fear losing power" is in line with wanting to keep their "victim" status intact. Victimology 101. When all else fails, play the role of victim. Be oppressed. Point the finger at your imagined oppressor.

What's my point? The point is, I'd love to hear exactly what this power is we men fear losing. I'd even be willing to listen to a woman tell me what men fear. I'll wait patiently. For the time being, it's just another bullshit, divisive, feminist, man-hating theory. I'll throw it on the shit-heap with all the others they've come up with.

Like there was any doubt to this.......


Who's Your 80s Movie Icon Alter-Ego? Find out @ She's Crafty

Danke Schoen, darling danke schoen.....thank you for all the joy and pain. Picture show, second balcony was the place we'd meet, second seat, go Dutch treat, you were sweet........

I recall Central Park in fall, how you tore your dress, what a mess.........


Have a good weekend folks.

Since time is scarce today, I wanted to take just a sec to point out that I have a new-found sense of respect for some people.

Specifically, Gina and Cinnamon.

WHAT?! Have I lost my mind, you ask? No. While I probably don't agree with most of their views, I probably do agree with some. But that's not why I respect them. I respect anyone who feels strongly enough about something to march right into the other camp, stand on their soap-box and shout a little opposition. I think that takes balls. I respect that. It shows enough openess to at least listen to what the other camp is saying first, give it some thought, and THEN tell them you think they're full of shit to some degree. Plus, I've found that on most issues, both parties come away with a better sense of understanding of the other camps view. When I do it on other sites, my intention has never really been to change anyone's mind as much as it's been to at least show them how I arrived at the opposite view so that maybe they'll see that there is perhaps a different way to look at their position. Have I learned a lot from doing this? Probably 100 times more than people have learned from me. But , the point is, it still takes balls. (Yes, I know I could have used "guts" instead of "balls.")

Gina and Cinnamon, Cinnamon and Gina. I've learned quite a bit from both of you. You've exposed me to things and views that I otherwise would have never given the time of day. That, of course, doesn't mean that I'll change my opinions or back down from my more strongly held positions, but, I have learned some things. Thank you.

Although Hoopty and I probably disagree on most every social policy issue you can name, I completely support his cause. Therefore, I've put his button and link here on the right until he tells me to go F myself and then I'll remove it.

Due to popular demand, I've decided to come up with another (hopefully different) 100 things that just piss me off. So, in no particular order........

1. Trucks with warnings for me to stay out of their blind spot. No. How 'bout you just get bigger mirrors, Hoss?
2. Guys that give "dog paw" handshakes. Squeeze it, shake it three times, let it go. Don't just hold my hand real soft like you want to kiss me. Be a man. Why didn't your father teach you this?
3. People that don't pick up their pace when I'm standing there holding the door open for them. Hey, "Shuffles-the-Clown," chop chop.
4. Guy barbers who dry-hump my elbow as they buzz my head.
5. Girl hair-stylists that don't.
6. Name droppers. Like this one time I was having lunch with the Mayor and he like totally let me know what a big shot he was.
7. Barbed wire bicep tattoos. Hi. 1992 called. It wants it's cliche' back.
8. Chicks with thumb rings.
9. Fat or skanky chicks with tongue piercings. Try losing weight or being pretty.
10. Guys who live for golf. I can think of a thousand better ways to spend $75 and 3 hours. At least 2 involve a hooker.
11. "Don't go there."
12. "Been there. Done that."
13. "Peace out."
14. "Have a blessed day."
15. "peeps"
16. "props"
17. "my bad"
18. "and she's like all 'duh.' and I'm like all 'as if'....."
19. Pronouncing the place where trees grow and babies play as a......"nurshery." OR, the thing that swims and bites at the aquarium a "nurshe" shark.
20. ANYONE of any ethnicity who rrrrrrolls their pronounciation of any Spanish word. OR, instead of "Pedro," says "Payro." See Peggy Hill on "King of the Hill."
21. "isms" in general. OR (fill in the blank)-Pride. White Pride, Black Pride, Gay Pride, Grrl Pride, Man Pride. What are you proud of? You were born that way. Be proud of something you accomplished, not your DNA or fetishes.
22. Even worse are those that aren't the actual "ism" they're supposedly supporting. Going to such great lengths to call yourself "gay friendly" or a "male feminist" is just so damn self-congratulatory and self-serving it makes me first want to laugh and then puke on you. "Look at me, I'm supportive! I'm ashamed of how my ism has treated your ism. But look, all of my ism isn't bad, look at me, I support your ism." PUKE!
23. Cher. Now there's a chick that takes herself way too seriously. Talentless. Drones on about "inner" and "natural" beauty, and yet has had countless plastic surgeries. Beat it.
24. Madonna. Please go away now. You're old. Deal with it.
25. Rosie. You hypocritical bitch. Out spoken on her hatred of handguns and how they have no place in society, and yet, her body guards are armed. Shilling for K-Mart, the countries largest retailer of guns.
26. Hillary. Look bitch, when your President talks, clap. And act like you like it.
27. Julia Roberts. I swear, if I have to watch you mug and do the aw-shucks routine one more time, I'll gag.
28. Katie Couric. NBC Today Show hostess and Democratic National Committee mouthpiece. Wants to pretend she's a real person, just like you. Just your ordinary gal.......that makes $60 million a year. Divided by 52 weeks is over a million a week, divided by 5 days she could possibly be on, means she's just your average, ordinary working mom that makes over $230,000 a day. The fact that she takes it and keeps it says more to me about what kind of person she is than what she says and how she tries so desparately to come across. $60,000,000 for being cute and perky.
29. The liberal biased news media use of the word "alleged" in front of the word "suspect" when the "alleged suspect" was caught red handed. Take this for example. She shot the guy who came in her house in the neck. What is so "alleged" that we can't call him "the suspect" or "the intruder?" Did she shoot an alleged bullet from an alleged gun? Had she not shot him would she be an alleged victim now?
30. People who interchange "then" for "than" and "than" for "then." (These are always the same people who write with an "ink pen." Than, when you look at them quizically, they have to point out the difference between an ink pen and a stick pin.)
31. "The Man Show Toast" Ziggy zoggy ziggy zoggy oy oy oy is stupid enough just once. Three times hurts me. Just shut up and drink the beer, Jimmy.
32. The word "emollient" just bugs me. Thankfully, outside of the syphilis clinic, I don't hear it too much.
33. When people say, "At this point in time..." Save the 2 extra words.
34. Keanu Reeves. Who told this dork he could act?
35. Tom Cruise. Nice braces, Tom. Is that a Scientology thing?
36. Boy bands.
37. Little souped up cars. Hey, Skippy, it's a Honda. Want to impress me? Move out of Mom's basement.
38. "The Arts." Especially, the "theatre." Lavish musicals, dramas, dancing, acting, large stage, small stage, spoken word, you name it. If it's on stage, I pretty much don't care.
39. Anything ".....ON ICE!" Since when did we collectively decide that we could put skates on kabuki characters and charge $75 a ticket?
40. Chicks with tattoos I can see. "Grandma, why do you have a banana tatooed on you chest?" "Well, Timmy, back before Grandma's titties dragged the ground, that used to say, 'I love Justin Timberlake'!"
41. Every picture on every company web site has everyone included. Go to your bank's web site, doesn't matter what bank. You got the picture of the white couple, the black couple, the Chinese lady, and the gay guy. Or the black guy helping the white couple get a loan as the smart Chinese guy looks on wisely. Check out the advertising pictures of McDonald's employees at any McDonald's. They take it a step further and throw in a shot of the old guy. The one who'll forget to put you fries in the bag and remind you that he fought in a war. I think this started with the cast of "Barney." Barney was the first true equal opportunity employer. White kid, black kid, fat Hispanic kid, red-haired geek, Chinese chick, and the kid you knew would grow up to be gay simply because he always danced a bit too good. If the marketing departments want to be "inclusive" why don't they throw in the rest of the freaks? The fat guy with the camo shirt, the retard, the bar slut, the mumbling guy who collects cans, the Hindu lady with the head-dot, the pimp, the pregnant 16-year old girl, the gang member, the pan-faced Korean liquor store owner, the mullet, the Mexican with the leaf blower, the Italian with the IROC-Z, the crack whore, the bull dyke and her lipstick lez, the chronic pimple faced geek, the band fag, the motor-head, the rest-stop cruisin' fag, you know, the rest of the stereotypes.
42. Pretentious bastards that go by their middle names and use their first intitial. G. Gordon, F. Murray, J. Edgar, T. Boone, etc.
43. They're, there, and their all mean different things, folks. "There going their to get they're dog."
44. I hAtE wHeN I sEe TyPiNg LiKe ThIs.
45. Shortening "You" to "U' or "you're" to "UR." Who is that busy?
45. "Emoticons" in general :p ;-) :O Get a grip.
46. Chenille. The fabric. Nothing says "trailer park" better that chenille.
47. Except perhaps velour. It's the fabric equivalent of a black velvet Elvis painting.
48. Matching sweat suits. Not just top and bottom on one person, that's bad enough. But, when husband and wife have on a matching set, I'm looking for a sock full of nickles to hit them in the head with.
49. Bumper stickers. For God's sake, if you have an opinion, get a web site.
50. Guys who talk about or allude to the size of their penises. Everythings a sexual enuendo. Wink wink, say no more, nudge nudge.
51. Guys at the gym who grunt and snort and then drop the weights on the floor. Ladies, just to confirm, these men do have the smallest packages in the locker room. You really should pay more attention to the fat bastards sweating on the treadmills, IF you know what I mean.

In a brazen attempt to alienate and divide, I offer todays rant. Last week, I had the displeasure of watching Rosie O'Donnell hijack a major network and give an hour long infomercial in favor of gay adoptions. Sickening. Why? Because I think it's selfish and self-serving to use children to legitamize a lifestyle. True, there are major problems with the adoption process in this country. So much so that many people simply go to China or Russia for their babies. But, opening the adoption procees to same-sex partners is not the answer. History, social-science research and all three major religions tend to agree that a loving union between man and woman provides the bedrock for a child's emotional health. I say this not out of fear or loathing of the homosexual lifestyle, but merely to point out that raising a child requires more than love or money. A child requires emotional consistency, gender stability and self-esteem. (The jails and nut-houses are crammed full with emotionally confused kids who came from seemingly well-off suburban neighborhoods.)

For an adoptive child, establishing an identity that meshes with social convention is essential to constructing a healthy sense of self. To abruptly break with social convention by placing the child in a homosexual household can create the sort of gender confusion and social scrutiny that ignites a lifetime of emotional confusion and damage. Consider: Studies indicate that children in homosexual households are four times more likely to test the extremes of their own sexuality by experimenting with homosexual behavior. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.) Now consider that the highest suicide rate in this country is amongst homosexual teen-agers. Plainly, the social pressures associated with this sort of gender confusion are tremendous - that is the reality that confronts us. To subject adoptive children to this sort of emotional trauma by design is worse than misguided, it amounts to martyring a large segment of adoptive children, just to make a cultural statement about homosexual rights.

Nonetheless, advocates for homosexual rights continue to place themselves at the center of adoption law in this country. Their justification: that the eroding nuclear family - through divorce and the general liberalization of the culture - has precipitated a change in traditional social structures. They have a point, they simply miss it. The crucial issue is not whether traditional social structures are changing, but whether embracing these changes is in the best interest of adoptive children. Get it? Adoption law ought not to be about cultural statements in general or gay rights in the specific; it ought to be about the best interest of the children. While debate regarding homosexual rights has its place in the national dialogue, such issues are not
central to the issue of adoption. What is central to the debate is a proper understanding of cultural norms and how they influence our sense of self. Or, more to the point, how common law, common sense, history and science all tell us that the very nature of a homosexual relationship deprives a child of the emotionally stable environment that he or she requires. While I am deeply sensible about the need to place adoptive children with families, this need does not justify placing adoptive children in ANY home. Nor, for that matter, does it justify risking the emotional well-being of adoptive children, just to make a political statement about homosexual rights.

President Bush came to town today. St. Charles County. (I think I see my house from up here.) So traffic was a total joke. But the good news is we got a bit of respectability from the Pres. He came to stump for Jim Talent. I've met Jim. He's a really nice and down to Earth person. Needless to say, he's a Republican.

Oh, just to clarify: We still wear deodorant. Just not anti-perspirant. all anti-perspirant does is use aluminum to shut off (clog) the pores so the stinky sweat can't come out. Well, if you quit using it, you WILL stink for about a week as all the crack-like concentrated sweat finally comes out. But after that initial phase, you find that you just don't really smell. I take that back. There is a natural chick-sweat smell in my wife's pits, but it's not the smelly kind anymore. Same with me. After an hour at the gym, I don't smell as fresh as a daisy. But, that's why we still go with the deodorant.

We quit the anti-perspirant about the same time we quit drinking milk. Milk sucks. Milk is evil. Milk is bad. Milk is the perfect food, IF YOU"RE A CALF!

I finally watched The Osbournes. Oh. My. God. How funny is that? I have to admit, I listened to a lot of Ozzy in High School. Looking back on the music now, it does seem rather tame. But, back then, there was nothing any harder. I loved Ozzy. Still do. It does make me a bit sad to watch him, though. It's a bit like watching Mohamed Ali. He shuffles around all day, looks like a deer in the headlights. You can tell his brain is just completely fried. I don't care. He's still the greatest, just like Ali. Which reminds me, I still have to see that movie.

I swear, I am so turning into my father. He's been dead for 10 years this May, but that's not stopping me. I find myself doing things that he did. Like today in the shower, I was soaping up, reached for the shampoo. My wife had taken it out of the shower over to the tub. I didn't feel like doing the cold, naked wet guy trot across the bathroom. I had a bar of soap in my hand. Soaped up the hair. "Hmmmm. Lathery." Rinsed, no repeat. Clean hair. I'm standing there debating with myself if I should still buy shampoo or do what my dad did and just wash the hair with a damn bar of soap. So far the soap is winning. I've got a huge head with what might be considered a long crew cut. I'm not winning any beauty contests. I'm happily married. I have no one I need to impress. So, either I wash my hair with a bar of Dial or Lever 2000, or I start washing my ass with Pert. Either way, I'm narrowing down my personal hygiene products. (We both quit anti-perspirant over 2 years ago. We just aren't stinky people.)

This is a disgusting comment on society. Thankfully, it is only a fractional minority that would embrace an idea like this and even fewer probably ever heard of it. The rest of us rational people realize that abortion is disgusting and immoral and would never dream of celebrating abortionists. One of my favorite questions to ask a pro-abortionist is this: "If there were a 16 year old girl in the next room who wanted an abortion, and you knew how to do it without any complications, would you walk in there, pick up the equipment, scrape her uterus and then suck out the bloody mass which is the remains of her baby for her?"95% of them will say "No, I wouldn't or couldn't do that." Most pro-choice people suddenly realize how extreme and disgusting the "choice" they're defending is and usually end up re-thinking their position very hard.

Back to the whole easily amused thing. Is this too tacky to frame and put above the mantle?

I love this. I am so easily amused. Shameful really. Give me a Slinky, some Silly Putty, or an Etch-a-Sketch and I'll be entertained for a week.
The Moon and it's effects on Earth have always fascinated me. Tides. Insect hatches. My wife's period. Go figure.

My goofball wife is absolutely convinced that the Moon is actually bigger as it comes up over the horizon. She is 100% committed to the idea that it somehow adopts some sponge-form elasticity that allows it to increase and decrease in size as it moves through the sky. Her proof of this is demonstrated by saying "Just look at it. It's HUGE right now. Later, it will be smaller. DUH!" The 'duh' is added with emphasis on her part to put a fine point on her obvious metal superiority in the field of both astronomy and physics.

To squash her hopes of replacing Stephen Hawking, I offer this.

I still love her. Now, if I can just convince Nick that it's made of Swiss and not Mozzerella.

Too tired, busy and sick to be of any real use today.

The only thing really good that's happened today is..........

"Sam-bo", (also known as "Angus", "Axl", and "Captain Crappy Pants") our 2-year old, used the potty chair today! Walked right up, took off his Huggie, sat down, grabbed a magazine, and did his business.

Proud. That's how I feel.

He could have just sat there. But, no. He knew enough to pick up reading material.

Proud.

Soon, I'll have him screaming at other drivers at 4-way stops. "GO!!! When 2 people arrive at a 4-way stop at the same time, the person on the right GOES FIRST! GO!!!!!"

OK. So, I've tweaked and prodded and made as many changes as I'm comfortable with here. I think I'm done with the changes. For now. As for the color, like the box to the lower right says, if you don't like it, change it yourself. I like the "Random Color" option. it entertains me to no end. I could sit here all day and click it. The color will change every time you arrive here anyways. Looks like I lost the old Archives. Who reallycares?!

Please, let me know what you think of the overhaul.

I found this article to be the most concise and illustrative of any regarding Bush's Welfare Reform package.

While I try to figure all that design crap out, I'd like to pause a minute to comment on the US helicopter shot down by al-Qaeda the other day. For the past month or 2, liberal self-apponited "human Rights Watchers" have been screaming about the treatment of so-called "POWs" in Camp X-Ray. Blah, blah Geneva Convention, blah blah In-humane treatment blah blah Prisoners of War blah blah holding them in cages blah blah we should treat them better blah blah BLAH.


Army Maj. Gen. Franklin L. "Buster" Hagenbeck, commanding more than 1,000 U.S. forces attacking pockets of al-Qaeda resistance south of Gardez, told reporters Tuesday that he had watched the Navy SEAL, Neil C. Roberts, being dragged off and executed by al Qaeda fighters on real-time video from an unmanned Predator drone.

Those people/animals in Camp X-Ray would just as soon slash your throat and piss down your neck as they would look at you. They are the enemy. We need to kill them all.

Yo yo yo, peep this, y'all. Big ups to the playas that make this happen. When you get a chance, be sure to catch the "Preachin' Puerto Rican Show." What a great way to reach inner city youth. Show them that there is a positive alternative to all the gang crap they see every day. Yo, JC in the house, representin', frontin' and perpatratin'. This pleases me.

Notice the few changes to Title and Side-bar text. I get bored easily.

"Big Oil?"

Besides trendy baby names, there are few things I hate more than trendy catch-phrases like "Big Tobacco", "Big Oil", etc. Despite that driving hatred of mine, let's get a few things cleared up right now. First and foremost: the world economy is driven by oil.

If you're not using solar energy to power your computer right now, shut your pie-hole about "Big Oil." If you didn't park your skateboard or scooter out by your company's wind farm this morning, shut your pie-hole about "Big Oil." If you're not burning candles to read at night and listening to a hand-crank radio to get your news, shut your pie-hole about "Big Oil."

So, we've established that you are as big of a part of "Big Oil" as anyone else. You have alternatives. If you choose to not use them, shut your pie-hole. You use oil. Do you drill for it yourself? Do you refine it yourself? Do you ship and store it yourself? No? Why not? Ohhhhh, because it's very, very expensive and risky. Maybe you could start a small Mom-n-Pop oil company and provide cheap oil to the organic vegan crowd that likes to use terms like "Big Oil." Oh wait, I forgot, too expensive and too environmentally unfriendly. Tonight, as you drive home to your warm heated home, try re-thinking who and what "Big Oil" really is. Then, try to figure out who is behind "Big Liberal Idiot."


(Despite what you may think, even the Amish use gas-powered tools and conveniences. They use propane lights, gas generators to power tools, fans, refrigerators and stoves around the house. In a sense, you could say that the Amish are part of "Big Oil.")